View basket “Game of Thrones Inspired Cocktail Bureau” has been added to your basket.
Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum Coffee Table – Martha Grey
£95.00
This small solid oak coffee table with barley twist legs is a great example of the classic country arts and crafts style.
A custom Glasshouse Girl stencil has been applied saying: Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum which roughly translates (in pigeon Latin) as “Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down”.
A weathered oak stain brings out the amazing wood grain and the surface protected with multiple layers of gloss varnish.
The base has been painted with two coats of ‘Martha Grey’.
Dimensions: tbc.
If you fancy having a go yourself on your own coffee table, the stencil is available for sale as well as a full ‘How To’ blog post AND a DIY kit including all the paint, stencils and brushes!
1 in stock (can be backordered)
Related products

‘Snakebite in Black’ Side Tables / Cabinets
This pair of very old vintage pot cupboards have been given a Glasshouse Girl makeover and turned into stylish side tables perfect for a modern bedroom, hallway or living room. Just because your interior style favours the subtle, furniture with a pop of colour on the inside can brighten your day!
Each cupboard has been carefully prepared, undercoated and painted in hardwearing matte acrylic paint. The outsides are black and the insides deliver a massive pop of hot pink. The shelves have then been lined with pink snakeskin wallpaper to add even more interest. Simple pink resin and brass t-bar handles from Graham and Green complete the look.
Single Shelf Cabinet dimensions: 403mm wide x 400mm deep x 740mm high
Double Shelf Cabinet dimensions: 414mm wide x 400mm deep x 767mm high
These cabinets are very old and quirky which adds to their shabby chic appeal, so please take care to review the photographs carefully before purchase - thank you!
The 'Snakebite in Black' design can be applied to all sorts of furniture! As well as Pink, the inside can be refinished in Cream/Beige or Grey/Black as per photos included in this listing - please contact me for a no obligation quote. :D

Grand Salon AV / Storage Cupboard
This pretty little cupboard has been painted in a custom chalk paint made from Farrow and Ball in the colour 'Clunch'. It has been distressed and matte varnished to give it that delicate, aged look ideal for a shabby chic interior.
The glass door has been given a custom French sign design in black. It says "Grand Salon" "de l'Hôtel-De-Serre" "Londres" which roughly translates as "Large Lounge" "Glasshouse Hotel" "London". The typography has then been lightly distressed in keeping with the vintage feel.
Dimensions: 580mm wide x 465mm deep x 915mm tall inc backplate or 885mm to top of the surface. The interior width is 500mm maximum with the door opening at 450mm.
This unit provides great storage for treasured items but would also be perfect for use as an AV unit. Placed alongside a wall mounted TV, you could pop your Sky box, games controllers and more in there. This would keep the lady of the house happy style-wise and the man of the house with neat storage for all his electronic treasures!
As this is a deliberately distressed finish, please examine the photos carefully before purchase – thanks!
I have a couple more of these cupboards in stock so if you fancy a different colour, finish or even a custom stencil on the glass, pop me a line!

Haute Couture Side Table / Trolley
This sweet little side table or cocktail trolley is solid pine and painted in a custom chalk paint made from Farrow and Ball's Clunch before a little light distressing to give it that relaxed aged / shabby chic look.
The top glass surface has been freehand painted on the underside with a shabby chic French sign design which says 'Haute Couture' in black and gold / brass.
The table has been sealed in matte varnish to make provide a durable finish.
I managed to find a set of vintage castors (removable) with rubber feet which have been given a brass finish to complete the look.
They also make this lovely piece would make a the perfect side table, bedside table or even cocktail / tea trolley for anyone with an eye for French shabby chic, handmade or Art Deco pieces with character.
Dimensions: 660mm wide x 440mm deep x 685mm high inc wheels (600mm exc wheels).
As this is a hand painted and shabby chic vintage piece, please make sure that you have reviewed the photos carefully before purchasing - thanks!
Sale
£695.00 £495.00
Add to basket

Game of Thrones Inspired Cocktail Bureau
This stunning carved solid teak bureau would make the perfect cocktail or drinks cabinet as well as providing loads of storage space. A unique statement piece, you can just imagine the conversations you could have with family and friends around it whilst you prepare drinks and cocktails! It's practical and stylish - what more could you want?
The piece has has moved past its dark 1980s style days and brought bang up to date with a grey and white drybrushed finish. This makes it look like stone or metal which changes depending on the light. I've tried to show you this in the photos.
The front of the bureau and drawer fronts feature a carved birds and blossom design which is really brought out by the finish. This is what really inspired me to give it the edgy finish as it was so reminiscent of the Game of Thrones intro. The flowers align it with the House of Tyrell but you won't be disappointed if you are feel you're more of a Stark, Lannister, Baratheon or Targaryen. Even if you've never watched GOT and couldn't care less where the inspiration came from, you'll still love its statement modern style!
The interior has been painted in sleek black whilst the drawers have been lined with a grey / black snakeskin print paper with just a touch of glitter which adds that little bit of extra style and surprise when open.
The original oriental base has been replaced with some simple solid oak 'L' shaped corner feet which brings the styling bang up to date.
Dimensions: 460mm deep x 890mm wide x 1010mm tall.
Incredibly heavy, this piece will need a specialist courier so please contact me for a full quote before purchasing.